Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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