how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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