So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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