I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
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That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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