haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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