Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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