I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
