Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
