I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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