somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
