I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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