Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Randomize
