just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
