new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
