Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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