well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
