I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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