we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
