Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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