dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
