hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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