After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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