I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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