so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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