Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
