Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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