I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
