She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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