i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You were trust falling into bushes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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