I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
