my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
