hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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