i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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