Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
