Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
