you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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