How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize