You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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