Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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