dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
