Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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