I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
