Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
