so explain again why im purple
no
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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