So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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