Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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