Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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