The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
