You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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