So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize