watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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