she looked like the before picture.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
