This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I checked into jail on foursquare
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
