Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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