Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Terrible idea I love it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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