New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
