I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
