Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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