I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
