So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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