Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
