We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As shirtless as possible
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
