i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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