I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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